


leave him

by witchy_country616



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Gen, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 22:45:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8465836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchy_country616/pseuds/witchy_country616
Summary: He gave her his heart in the form of a diamond bracelet and a promise. And that’s when she knew she was gonna leave him.Santanico's thoughts during s02.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A little drabble based on a tumblr prompt of "I know I'm gonna leave him", from Halsey's song Ghost. Also, I think it ended up working well as a companion piece to [make me no promises](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7396363).

A part of her always knew they wouldn’t last. She has lived for hundreds upon hundreds of years, and from her prison she saw civilizations rise and fall, gods come and go. But for a moment, a blink of an eye that felt like eternity, she lets herself feel and forget about the inevitable.

They were good together. And when he touched her, full of reverence and care, she almost felt human. No, not human exactly, but like a woman. Not a queen, not a slave, not a monster, just her. And what she was was enough for him.

Then he gave her his heart in the form of a diamond bracelet and a promise. And that’s when she knew she was gonna leave him. Not because he made her feel owned, but because she felt it all the same. Why couldn’t she look at that bracelet and see Richie? Why couldn’t she see his kisses, his touch and his love? All she sees is Malvado, taking, taking and taking. She hates it. And most of all, she hates herself for still being so broken, for not being able to let it go.

_“I can’t give you what you want. Not until...”_

She makes it seem like it’s temporary, like one day she’ll be able to wear a bracelet, wear a _ring_ , and give him her all. But deep down she knows she is lying to herself and to him – knows that he knows it too. Before she is ready, they’ll crash and burn. And she is gonna leave him.

They fight and argue all the time. Like the honeymoon period is over. It’s not that, though. It’s both of them putting the walls back up and focusing on _the plan_ instead of talking about the elephant on the room. She knows he knows. Sooner or later, she is gonna leave him.

At night, he holds her close, plants little butterfly kisses on her shoulder and she lets herself relax and pretend everything is alright while they make love. But their love fades away with sunlight, and every morning she wakes up with one certainty: she is gonna leave him.

She still has doubts sometimes, of course. When he puts her safety before the plan, when he protects her from Seth – even though he is still mad at her for making him steal from his uncle – it all raises some fuzzy feelings inside her she doesn’t know how to deal with. Why does he have to keep making her care about him?

His kiss in the box takes her by surprise. He doesn’t usually initiate contact, and instead of reassurance, his touch reminds her of everything that’s on the line: their lives, their relationship. She wants to believe they’ll all emerge victorious, kill the villain and save the day. Too bad she has always been so pessimistic.

Funny enough, though, she never considered that he would sell her out. Malvado has a way of getting inside people’s head, but she always believed Richie would be stronger than this. A little voice inside her head tells her that he is stronger than this, his mind is not easily manipulated, he just never cared enough about her. Money and power meant more than she ever did. She knew they were doomed from the start, so how is it possible that his betrayal hurts this much?

She pushes through the heartbreak (surely, what other name could there be for this pain?), plays her part and kills the emperor. There’s no joy. There’s not even relief. All she does is feel empty. Malvado is gone, so why does she still feel owned? When will she ever feel like her own person again?

Richard comes back and, even though there’s no satisfaction in killing, all she wants do is kill him. Or beat him up pretty badly until her own heart stops hurting. How can someone so bright be so stupid to make a deal with the devil? She wants to say, “I thought I meant more to you” when he offers his bullshit explanation about “setting her up in El Rey” but the words never come out. They get stuck on her throat and she swallows them bitterly together with her feelings. Instead, all she does is raise her eyebrows and pretend to accept his excuse. It doesn’t matter, anyway, she tells herself. She is getting out of dodge as soon as they deal with Carlos.

She planned to leave exactly when she knew he was busy, but she never could get anything past him, could she? Damn him.

He still half-tries to make her stay: in the only way it doesn’t hurt his pride and still allows her to say no. _“You could be part of this.”_ But she never wanted _this_ , and he knows it better than anyone.

So she tells him she doesn’t want to be owned, because she feels it and it’s something he would understand – but it’s only half the truth. She was always gonna leave, it was only a matter of time.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like it, please leave kudos or comments! I'd love to hear your thoughts.


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